January 25, 2016

weekend :: for what's worth it

taking a bit of a brake from the everyday is a good thing. the girls came along with me to stay at my parents over the weekend. of course i would have had lots of projects and ideas and work right in front of my sight. but i ran away and it was good to be away.
wonderful weather, extended walks, knitting and cooking together with naomi. just be and be still, be content.
and yes there was fussing and yelling and regular sibling head budding with the girls. though it seems as it was a bit easier for me to take and sometimes just let them figure it out among themselves.
as at home i have a rather hard time to let the kids be loud with each other. though they are like that anyway. not all the time, not even a lot, but there is regular loud and harsh words being exchanged and heads budded and tears shed about it all.
and then again, there is peace coming back, by talking, by forgiving each other and really forgiving and forgetting about it. by putting the other one first. it's painful, it's not a process i enjoy but at the end, there is beauty and character being built.

well again and again i learn to be a parent and help the kids to find their way in the jungle of wanting to be and wanting to have and not having what the sister or brother has, is or just looks like.
and in all of this, i as their mother as their parent, i'm being shaped and changed too.
relying on the love and forgiveness i have experienced through christ.

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